Taylor Swift is getting more beautiful and gorgeous. I love her dress that night <3

Haih I woke up in the middle of night. It has been only 2 hours since I'm sleeping and I just cant sleep anymore. This is sick. I mean I've been very active in the day so that I can sleep soundly at night but I just cant. Maybe there are many things on mind mind right now and it's just so hard to not thinking of it while sleeeping. But I'm swear I didnt think of it at all while I'm sleeping. ERGHH.

You know, I've came across to one of my seniors in my faculty talking about how he saw himself after the graduation. I mean among of all my edu seniors he's the only one that I could see the determination to further his studies overseas as a postgraduate student. Seeing him with that spirit he's just inspired me to do the same. To be honest, I dont really thinking of furthering my studies as soon as I'm graduating but then I thought it's now or never. But yeah, I just dont know. Some say you must have some experiences in teaching 1st because it'll make the process easier to complete the research but nowadays most universities offer master by courses. I know right it's confusing.  Yet, I still found that furthering my master first is the best options  ever. I've found some universities overseas particularly in UK and NZ because I've been dreaming to study there since I was in  school, they offer scholarships for non-europeon to study there. And yes-here's another options which I will try to ask MARA if they wanted to give me loans or even better scholarship to further my studies because I've heard it it's easier to get MARA in post graduate level. Yet, we dont know. 

I only third year student. I mean I have like 3 more semester ahead but what happens after I grad are more interesting than what'll happen in just couple of days for the next semester. I have no lust at all to think of my life as a degree student now. It's just so tourchering and heartbreaking. I wouldnt blame anyone on that but hell yeah I rather not eating than going to college for the next 3 semesters. Maybe I'll keep my life even more busier in my final year. Gahhhh I dont know. It's just so hard to think about things that we' re clueless. I just pray that Allah SWT eases my journey towards things I wanted in life. I just wanted to do it like silently and when I realised what I've planned just working out. See? It's jut very difficult to live nowadays.

And God please I wanna get married quickly.Aaaaaaaaa~~~

My friends were asking me why am I'm being so heartless to them? Dont get me wrong. It's just I was the person who always kepoh kepoh about what they've been through. Suddenly, they just feel that they lost me. I'm not talking much, I sleep a lot, when they are all talking about something we against on, they just dont know what I've been thinking of coz I'm not talking- A WORD.

It happened, when Maisarah and Adda asking me what's the wrong. I said, I dont know. Exactly a year ago till now, it's something.I feel so empty. Yes, I just knew what empty feels. I dont know the way I bring myself is just so different the way I was. They said that I just dont give a damn thing on anything.

Blind my eyes, make ears dont listen, keep the mouth shut- at least I did it. To not give a damn. Haih *i know someone will against me on this, but whatever. Do whatever you heart likes. it's yours not mine, i just dont care*

oh I LOVE HOLIDAYS

and JOHN GREEN

he's turned me on.