I told him how much I love my best friend, but how lonely and heartsick it made me to be with person who was always disappearing from the room, from my life, from the planet. 

There's a constant level of closeness that I really need from the person I love. But it just destroys me to not be able to count on the affection when I need it. 

*I have opened my fist and showed to the world the handful of bullets I'd had to bite over the rough times. And time still get rough.