The only thing I want to ask from Allah SWT right now is to stop me from doing immoral things and sinful stuffs. My heart screams so loud hating all the immoral behaviour that I've been doing all this time. It's not that I dont wanna stop but I'm not sure if I ever getting better if I do so. Well, obviously I will but I just cant. Maybe I'm too attached with all the sins till I couldnt get away of it.

I know every wrongdoings will be punished. It's the matter of sooner or later. I think I've got some of the punishments from Him but I just couldnt. I COULD NOT. I want to be like anybody else. I want to feel the peace again. I dont want to lose anything, not a single one that I matter in my life. Not again. But how 😪