Late night thoughts. I hate it so much. I know I am over thinking and just so insecure about petty things. He's been very busy lately. Hence, he spent less time with me. I know, I should be supportive and understanding about his workload and everything but sometimes, I just couldnt. I couldnt help myself for thinking he's started to hate me. If this isnt the truth, what if it is? We are barely see each other, and now he's behaving like this. It's enough to shaken up my optimism. Maybe I am not ready for this. To face the reality that things dont always be rainbows and butterflies.

I know he must be really upset reading this post, but dear I hope you would understand me. It has been few weeks. I just want you to know, I'm not that strong. I know he would say, why would me be the one who understands you and you're not even try to understand me? Well, I have no answer for that!  It's hurt and I want you to know that. I dont like this. I dont like you being busy. I dont. I never liked it. I'm sorry for putting you in a harsh position, seeking money just to marry me. And if you ask me, I never asked for that! I've got family to take care of, a mother should be obliged to. So, I cant help it. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for all the demands. I told you to give up, but to be honest I cant  bear losing you. But I dont want to torture a soul that I love.

so you know why I have a hard time sleeping at night and why I hate late night thoughts.