I want this

December 29, 2013

It's just so impossible


December 24, 2013

There's a saying :

Most problems in life are because of two reasons.
We act without thinking,
We keep thinking without acting.

Tried both. Nothing's solved.  Problems unsolved. So? Ridiculous.


December 17, 2013

I love to hear my old playlist of the old songs
Which reminds me the 'Ol days
I can smell the past, the feeling of being surrounded by the people of the past
And get to feel the emotions  of the past.
Then, I'll feel secure
Just like that. 

Yes, Im still not moving on with the past. Cause the past is the best.

Miss not moving on. Will never be. 

Conquering Kota Kinabalu Part 2 (Photos only)

November 11, 2013

At the Kanopi

At Kaung. Another spot to take phote of Mt Kinabalu's peak

At the bay

The seafood! Yummy!

Floating at Pulau Sapi and Pulau Manukan

HDR : Pulau Manukan

Hikhik at Kundasang

Remnants of World War II that found at Pulau Manukan



Snorkeling ^^

Conquering Kota Kinabalu

November 10, 2013

Salam. At last I updated my blog. It's just I don't have things to write and things were just so messing up but Alhamdulillah I'm still alive. So,the past 5 days was really fun. I went to Kota Kinabalu, Sabah with bunch of interesting new people I met- Iskandar , Shafiq Rahim, Helmi, Didie, Shikin and Kak Syahira. My trip to Sabah was really unplanned. Because I supposed to join a program with my fellow classmates to Australia but it happened to be postponed to January. Therefore, without thinking much, I accepted an open invitation from Iskandar to join his classmates and him to go to Sabah.

To be honest I've never been to Sabah and Sarawak. So, when I got the offer from Iskandar, I thought- why not? We went there on 6th and got back to semenanjung on 9th. It was so short but it was really good for a short escape.

Day 1- Reached KK. Checked in at Api-Api Homestay and walking around KK city. Ate seafood there. We were so fascinated with the size of the seafood there. So big, pricey but delicious. I guess good taste comes from good price, lol. Thankfully, we shared the food and it only costs about RM 10. That sums up the first night in KK.

Day 2- The journey began. We decided to go to Gunung Kinabalu. it took almost two hours. On our way to Gunung Kinabalu, we stopped at Rumah Terbalik- we didnt entered the place pun. Then, we continued the our journey. Along our way to go to the picture spot at Pekan Nabalu, we can see the Gunung Kinabalu and Subhanallah it is so beautiful! We just cant stopped taking pictures from inside the car since the view was so beautiful. Our tourist guide was so sporting, he stopped at place called Kaung to take photo- since at that spot we can see Gunung Kinabalu. After some picture was taken- we went straight to Pekan Nabalu. We were in rush since usually after 9AM the fog will hide the peak of Gunung Kinabalu. Fortunately,  we still can see the view even though at time it was almost 11 AM.Then, we went to Poring Air Panas, Kanopi, Desa Dairy Farm, Kundasang and at kaki gunung of Gunung Kinabalu. Later at that night- we ate seafood again. hoho

Day 3- Day 3 was the best part of all- Island Hopping.To be honest, this is my first island Hopping because my family doesnt really like sea or beach so we rarely choose to go there. But when you visit Sabah- it's a must to go to the islands there. Hello? The islands there were certified by UNESCO and you're Malaysian and dont care to visit it. Shame on you. hehe bajet habih. The highlight activity was snorkelling. OMG. That was my first time sinking on the water and got the chance to swim at the same place with the fish. Hoho, I'm so proud of myself since I cant swim.Well, I dont even dare to learn how to swim, fyi. we went to two islands- Pulau Manukan and Pulau Sapi. Pulau Manukan was so-so. I mean there were a lot of rubbish floating on the water and it happened to have a lot of rocks and it hurts your feet. Haih. In contrast, Pulau Sapi is a lot more clean and beautiful than Pulau Manukan. It's only RM25 to go there. So cheap for me.

Day 4- Before we got back to semenanjung, we went to Pasar Filipino and bought some souvineer  for family and friends.

It only costs me around RM 400 there included food, homestay, boat, transportation and the souvineer excluded the flight ticket. Yeah, for the time being I cant afford travelling overseas-but In shaa Allah if there's rezeki, I will one day. A great moment for me and Iskandar too because before the trip we were not seeing each other so much because he's busy with his PSM. But it wort it for the quality time. Thanks for his effort :) Well, I planned with some of my friends to be in Krabi after our teaching practical. Dont want to get too excited but we can plan slowly. In shaa Allah. That one fine day! Toodles!

** I cant upload the pictures since the internet was so sloww. I'll upload the pictures next time. XOXO


October 08, 2013

...and I got that chocolate. The best chocolate ever. Thanks darling. 


September 21, 2013

You're growing and becoming a lot like me.
Define yourself.
Cause not everybody wants to be YOU.
especially ME.

you sponge-gy

I developed new phobia.

August 30, 2013

Assalamualaikum awak awak.. Okay today's topic is phobia. Do you have one? or two?? Okay, I've never have one but I do now.Sobs. If you're not sure what phobia is, please google it :)

Sebenarnya tak pernah langsung having any phobia in my life.But in the age of 21- I've got one. This aint cool. Okay I dont know what kind of phobia I'm suffering but this is pretty scary. I'm afraid or feel not easy to be in a space that I could never be able to ask for help from the others. huh,, It happened last week. I went to this place, where there was one room that is divided into two. Since the room is divided by two parts- it has two doors. So,usually, I'll use the left door but at that time, the right door was the only open. Even though I want to go to the left part of the room, I have to use the right door since it was the only door that open. I realised there are two other people in that room, but dont really care since they have nothing to do with me. 

I was soo busy with my work, and suddenly "Bam!". I've heard that they're slamming the door. Okay maybe they're just shutting the door,but I was wrong. They're shutting the grill too!! Okay it wasnt that bad since that door wasnt locked. However, I was wrong again. SO, I've been struggling opening the grill from inside. The door cant be opened since the grill was blocking the door from opening. I almost cried, Seriously. My chest hurt, I started to feel dizzy and I just cant think. I just keep banging the door so that there is anyone out there hears me. Icant contact anyone since I was alone, and the phone's battery was only 5% left. i know this one isnt a cliche scene in movies anymore. For about almost 45 mins I was in there and I didnt feel good. Alhamdulillah, there are two guys came to enter the room and there were so shocked to see me inside. Hurm...

When I got home, I was still in shocked. I usually locked my door and sleep without any lights but up till today, I didnt dare to lock my room and switch on the light even though I'm not the type who can sleep with the light on. I feel so terrified till I brought em to my dreams. Before, I dont believe to those who are afraid of heights or you know to be in elevator or something. But now I know how it feels. So guys,be careful. 

me and my anger

August 26, 2013

Assalamualaikum. Hello. At last I decided to finish this post. omg. I have so many posts in draft but I dont know why whenever I start to write, I couldn't finish it. Sobs.

So by referring to the post tittle, I definitely wanna talk about my anger. Historically, I inherit this anger from my father. And that's for sure. Hehe. Straight to the point.. I will let my anger out whenever I didnt get anything that I want. In a simpler way, I easily get upset with anything that I felt wrong. Even it is the smallest thing in the world. I feel ashamed to write all of this but it's hard to change in overnight. 

My anger brought a lot of problems to me. To be honest it puts me in a lot of fight. Just like yesterday -.-''. Only people that really know about this will understand but for how long?? How long they'll be able to understand and stay? Omg I teared up *drama queen*. I definitely need to reduce my anger or meet counselling or something but I want you guys to know that it aint easy. It aint easy. Sometimes, I didnt realize that I've hurt someone. T.T

But you know I think I cant control myself really well. And I honestly say, sometimes I'm just too self-centered but I'm not selfish aherher. Self-centered in my dictionary means I always seeing things only in my point of view. But to all my friends that I met during my asasi times and degree you're just so lucky because I was worse. Haha.. I've changed once, but I thought people were taking advantages on me. Okay just give me a moment of silence and stay cool whenever I feel people are taking advantages to me. I just want to be a nice girl :(

Eid's update

August 12, 2013

Assalamualaikum sweethearts :)
Alhamdulillah I've finally got some time to update my blog. I've been very busy in Ramadhan- did some bussiness and got teaching works to do. Here I am- I'm currently in Pulau Pangkor having a sweet escape before I go back to Johor and working starting next week.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, maaf zahir batin I bid to you guys. Sorry, to wish in English sounds so not welcoming in this happy month. Haha. Forgive me for all my wrongdoings in past and I'm apologizing for future. I'm saving it. So, I want to put some pictures for this raya :) Eye candy sikit..

"Kira dosa kau kepada orang lain, sebelum kau kira dosa yang lain kepada kau"

I've tweeted this before. What I want to say here is let's forgive and not asking others to be apologized to you. Come on, dont be selfish. The world is about us, living in this world means nothing without others. To be hurt by others is normal. I admit I made a lot of mistakes especially for those who are close to me, Meia, Al, Iskandar, my parents, my family, but I think that's how life should be. Making mistakes means I agree to not repeat the mistakes. I reflected myself a lot. I admit that I have some inner crisis or cold war between me and 'them' I close, but I would say, these mid semester break shows how much I miss them. A lot. No doubt. I am too ego to say I'm sorry before them, but here I goes, I am too ego to do that. I know they know about this, and that's why I love them ;) I hope, this semester I can make up with 'them' and everything will be normal again. I know every pain got its scar, I dont ask you to forget what I've done to you guys, but just give me a chance to improve our relationship, myself. I love you xoxo

one fine day

July 11, 2013

Assalamualaikum. .

I'm in the phase of ignoring anything that happened.  But I'm not ignoring the fact that I need to do something with it. It's just I'm tired. I just called it a day.

All I know is-I'll be right back. This is not a long vacation. It's just a brief hiatus.

Semester Break Rants 3.0 and Ramadhan Rants

July 05, 2013


This post kita combine sume. In shaa Allah, in 5 days Muslim will be celebrating Ramadhan :D I'm so excited because Ramadhan is like the gift from Allah S.W.T- as a platform to tingkatkan our ibadah and hope ia berterusan, to stop eating and give a good health for our stomach, the month where I could meet the society in bazaar and masjid for terawikh and many more.. I just love the enivronment of Ramadhan, walaupun kadang-kadang bulan ni panas dia a little bit odd, hello, macam tak biasa pulak. Malaysia kut. hehe

Alhamdulillah, in my workplace today, there was a talk for Ramadhan. It was short, but it was informational. The talk stressed on the mistakes or kesalahan biasa that we always do during Ramadhan. 
1. Kalau batal puasa, jangan makan dan minum sewenang-wenangnya. Maksudnye, kita kne lah respect orang yang sedang berpuasa. IF kita punya puasa batal, tak salah untuk sama-sama menahan lapar dan dahaga. 

2. Sahur pada tengah malam. Oke ni sentap sikit. Because I'm not a type of person yang bangun sahur. oops.. Ada banyak hadis yang menggalakkan kita bersahur 
"bersahurlah sebab dengan bersahur adanya keberkatan"
"beza puasa orang kafir dengan orang Islam ialah sahur"
Selain dia sarankan melambat-lambatkan waktu sahur, dia ade cakap, kalau nak lebih segar waktu sahur tu, bila kita bangun untuk sahur pagi tu, perkara pertama, kita boleh buat solat sunat tahajjud 2 rakaat. Ha, baru lah makan selera sikit :)

3. Melambat-lambatkan waktu berbuka. Kalau nak berbuka, azan masuk je teruslah berbuka. Kalau stuck kat tengah jalan ke ape, orang cakap nak batalkan puasa, korek hidung. amboii..kenyang ke korek hidung? Kalau agak-agak rasa mcm kne buka kat tengah jalan, simpanlah something yang boleh gunakan las perut untuk berbuka.

4. Tak mendirikan solat subuh secara berjemaah. Ini bagi lelaki lah terutamanya. Kalau bleh sepanjang bulan puasa ni, setiap waktu digalakkan berjemaah kat masjid macam solat isya' dengan terawikh tu. Mudah-mudahan kalau dah terbiasa, boleh jadi ahli masjid tetap. Haha, paling lawak, ustaz tu pesan, yang isteri kat rumah ni, jgn ler tak bagi suami pergi masjid. Hadoiyaii, ustaz ni, bulan puasa kot. Huhu.

5. Terawikh bukan untuk meriah. Ha, ni sebab time terawikh jelah baru nak meriah masjid tu. Lagi satu yang bebudak ni, time terawikh lah nak jumpe kengkawan. Tak payahlah. Niat kene betulkan. Niat tak betul-tu yang jadi, projek curi selipar orang gi masjid, projek main mercun kat luar masjid, hisap rokok etc. Nauzubillah..

6. Bermalasan pada waktu siang Ramadhan. Haha, aku rasa aku selalu je buat ni. Ustaz cakap, kalau puasa tu buat macam biasa, cuma yang lain-ta makan minum je. Kalau sibukkan diri, in shaa Allah hilanglah rasa lapar dengan fikiran takdelah melayang ke makanan jek. 

7. Tidur sepanjang puasa. Haha, tidur tu memanglah ibadat, tapi kalau tidur je sepanjang puasa tu, boleh makruh oi. 

8. Imsak bukanlah waktu kita tak boleh makan. Okay waktu imsak ni biasaya 10 minit sebelum azan subuh. Oleh itu, kita boleh je makan lagi dlm duration imsak ni, tapi bila azan subuh masuk je, kau kene lah stop makan. Hehe, kalau macam traffic light tu, Imsak ni, dah menandakan warna kuning belum lampu merah lagi. 

9. Pergi ke solat terawikh dengan tidak menutup aurat. Especially perempuan. Erm, ada yang pakai telekung masa nak otw gi masjid tapi pakai short sleeves je baju kat dalam tu. Lagi satu pasal stokin. Aurat perempuan covers satu badan kecuali muk dengan tapak tangan. Tapi kalau kita tak pakai stokin, aurat dah terdedah lah. Baik, marilah sama-sama berubah ye ukhti :) kalau istiqamah rajin skit boleh lahh terus pakai stokin tu.. hehe In shaa Allah..

Alhamdulillah. Dapat jugak hadir kat ceramah-ceramah mcam ni. Rindu pulak nak berusrah :') Dan yang paling best sekali, tempat kerja aku, ade buat tadarus Al-Quran. Yeay! Harap- harap dapatlah khatam tahun ni.. Amin In shaa Allah :D Semoga umur panjang untuk Ramadhan ni..


perhatian bakal suami

July 05, 2013


Kahkah.. Tajuk post tak boleh blah. Hehe. So kepada bakal 'abang' saya, ayang nak gi sini buleh? :3

I've been dreaming travelling to Venice (for honeymoon), Makkah, Korea, Paris, Krabi, and Europe before I die. For Europe, I planned with my cousins and their friends to go there after I graduated my degree program. In shaa Allah. And for Korea, Iskandar said that he wanted to bring me there. Leulz. *gua tuntut sama lu* and Makkah, me and Mama have been pleading to Abah for umrah as soon as possible and there's no plan for the other places yet. I will not rush to this, but I hope I can go to these places somehow. 

Today, I want to add a place in the list. A small village called- Agueda in Portugal. Why? Because of this-

I find it so creative and interesting at the same time. This installation of umbrella, or floating umbrella is one of the places that has becoming the attraction to Agueda. However, if you want to see this street full of umbrellas, you have to come to Agueda during summer- in July. There will be summer festival and charade along this street. So, anyone interested? Let's plan to be here together :)

time to be spent

July 04, 2013


I bet there must be someone who has been wondering why I keep updating my blog lately. I have few reasons:

1. Since I have a job, I met new people, experiencing new environment. I'm quite excited to be a teacher in school even though -it's only temporary. But I think there are quite a few of us, who had this experience. Reasons why I chose this job because of course, as a future teacher this could help in not only in my career but in my practical teaching in 6th semester. Actually I'm quite disappointed with the administration since they still not giving me any specific teaching job in that school. But mom said, never mind this time you can learn how to control the class- it's important too :) When I was offered to be teaching in that school, the PPD officer said, is that okay-since that school is very popular with it's 'hard core students'. I accepted this job because I think, I have to start off with the worst so that in the future, whenever I face the difficulties in my career I'm not freaking out. Yeah think positive-and btw I get paid everyday. HAHA.

2. I want the readers other than teachers to be exposed to what teachers are facing today. Tbh, teachers nowadays are not bound with teaching- they have to be everything. Sometimes-a cleaner. With students' nowadays attitudes that they are not really bother about their studies *I'm not referring to all* + administration workload such as PBS, Kajian Tindakan and all, I realized sometimes they dont really have time for themselves. I will talk about this later.. In shaa ALLAH

3. I'm not really interested to other social network- facebook and twitter. Since I deactivated and activated my twitter accounts all over again, I would say, I lost my pace especially when I communicate with my friends there. I feel old and lame. So I decided not to tweet. -.-'' Facebook- you know everybody is lame.

4. Yes, I cannot deny that the UTM BLOGGER  badges and network made me more excited to blog. I met new friends in the blog- I read different stories, experiences, and especially experience after graduating. It brings me closer to the UTM society. it's just so pleasant :)

5. I just love to tell stories. and bragging kut. and bored. HAHA.

semester break rants 2.0

July 04, 2013


Ha, ya. Ini post sambungan kepada post sebelum dan sebelum ni.. hehe... Okay, hari ni tak panjang kut membebel..cume nak cerita sikit pasal hari sukan Kejohanan Olahraga dan Balapan Kali 43 sekolah yang aku kerja sekarang ni. Disebabkan aku hanya ditugaskan untuk semasa kejohanan aje, jadi takdelah penat letih letih sampai knackered. hoho.. 

Untuk kejohanan ni, aku ditugaskan jadi hakim balapan. Tau tak ape hakim balapan?? Okay, hakim balapan ni kerja dia bg nombor kat peserta bila dia smpai garisan penamat. Hakim balapan kene catat sape dapat nombor 1,2,3 dan seterusnya. Oh kalau macam acara 1500m- dimana peserta kene lari 4 pusingan padang, hakim balapan juga bertanggungjawab untuk catat berapa kali dah dia pusing padang. Nampak macam senang je kan? Tapi pada aku, blh tahan mencabar KALAU tak cukup AJK. Contohnya macam acar larian 100m Lelaki- acara ni, mmg paling laju dalam dunia. Lepastu kalau kau tak tgk betul2, jarak antara peserta pertama dgn peserta kedua mmg tak banyak. Huh, aku kecut je perut kalau time pelepas lepaskan budak budak lelaki ni lari.

Untuk sekolah ni, aku rasa sambutan kurang meriah sikit. Mungkin sebab kitorang pinjam padang sekolah lain, sbb sekolah ni takde padang. Lepastu kerjasama students dalam participation pun kau kene makan hati dulu lah baru dapat. Perbarisan rumah sangat simple,takde maskot, takde khemas berhias, takde kawad dari unit beruniform, takde ikrar, dan paling penting sekali, kau tak tau pun students ni rumah ape, sebab mostly dorang pkai baju PJK sekolah bukan baju warna rumah sukan. Erm,, lain sekolah lain budaya yedak?

Tapi Alhamdulillah, sume berjalan dengan lancar. Tapi tadi cuak gak, sbb tibe-tibe hujan lebat. Kalau ikutkan cikgu-cikgu ni nak teruskan je, tapi demi keselamatan atlet tu, kitorang tangguh sbb ade guruh petir. Aku yang terdampar kat tengah-tengah khemah kat padang pun basah gaklah sbb angin kuat. Balik-balik terus mandi, takut demam pulak kan..So, juara rumah - Rumah Tempua (warna kuning). Thank God esok Jumaat :) hehe maksudnye aku dapat weekend! jyeahhh~ dan paling best, lepas waktu rehat besok, ade acara bersempena Ramadhan. Takde kelas. Heaven!

terima kasih buat Encik Fizi tulang belakang Pekan Nanas, atas ihsan gambar :)

everything will go back to The One

July 03, 2013


Ha, nak komen sikit pasal isu Syiah yang makin menjadi-jadi  kat Malaysia ni especially bila ade seorang yang berprofile tinggi kat Malaysia ni mengaku yang dia berhaluan Syiah. Okay. Untuk post ini, apa yang ingin disampaikan hanyalah berdasarkan pemikiran aku sebagai seorang Muslim yang masih cetek tentang ilmu agama dan juga amalan yang kurang sempurna. But I decided to speak up since this is involving my religion and faith. What I'm going to say here is I want to be part of those people who deliberately believe that Syiah is not acceptable especially in the context of Islam in Malaysia.

Okay, perkataan Syiah ni, first time dengar masa belajar kat sekolah-sama ada sekolah agama or sekolah harian biasa. Aku tak sure ape sebenarnya erti Syiah yang sebenar, tetapi Syiah ni dia satu golongan umat Islam yang mengagung-agungkan Saidina Ali R.A sewaktu pemilihan khalifah selepas kematian Rasullullah S.A.W. dan juga banyak menentukan hukum yang bercanggah dengan yang sebenarnya. And aku sangat pasti, sebagai umat Islam kita tak sepatutnya perfahaman Syiah ni. Sebaliknya kita seharusnya berfahaman Sunni atapun Ahli Sunah Waljamaah kerana fahaman ni lebih tepat dan berlandaskan Al-Quran dan sunnah. Aku harap aku tak salah dalam mendifinisikan apa tu Syiah dan Sunni/ Ahli Sunnah Waljamaah.

Pada mulanya, aku tak aware pasal cerita syiah ni. Tapi satu hari tu, ade lah seorang hamba Allah ni msg aku  sbb dia nak jumpa lepas nak dekat 8 tahun jugaklah tak jumpa. lepastu dia tiba2 je mentioned pasal syiah ni..

" Korang sunni, mana boleh kepala dgn syiah.haha"
"Beres.. nanti boleh lah aku komuniskan korang sekali"

Aku agak terkejut lah sebab hamba Allah ni dia ada pelajaran agama yang tinggi kalau nak dibandingkan dengan aku. So, pada aku, kalau kau rasa fahaman Syiah ini adalah fahaman yang benar- diharap self-checked diri tu dulu. Mari kita ambil contoh : 1) nikah mut'ah- nikah kontrak. Aku mmg ingat sangatlah sebab baru periksa pasal nikah2 ni final hari tu mengatakan bahawa nikah mut'ah ni tak sah disisi agama.

Walhal Syiah menghalalkan nikah mut'ah ni.  2) solat jamak dan qasar- Rukhsar solat yang Allah beri untuk para musafir yang jarak perjalanan lebih 2 marhalah dan tidak bermaustatin setempat lebih daripada 3 hari. Tetapi Syiah anggap, solat jamak ni tak perlukan apa2 niat dan boleh dilakukan bila-bila sahaja.

Yang terbaik-rujuk kepada yang lebih pakar tentang fahaman Syiah ni. Pada aku, kalau kau tak tanya kat pakar pun kau dah boleh nmpk dah yang Syiah ni terpesong. Agama Allah itu satu-so hukumnya tetap sama untuk semua orang. Aku rasa trend sekarang ni lebih kepada mengikut-ikut. Contohnya, kalau kau ade kawan yang percaya Syiah-kau pun sibuk nak ikut percaya Syiah.

Pesan aku kepada yang suka naa ikut ikut orang ni.. aku rasa kau boleh amik balik buku text agama kau masa sekolah dulu, baca balik, fahamkan. Itu paling senang. Tak perlulah kau nak baca kitab-kitab yang tak tau sahihnya. Semua ni akan berbalik kepada apa yang Al-Quran dan Sunnah Rasulullah. Astaghfirullahalzim..kalau post ni menampakkan yang aku ni sombong dan bajet tau pasal agama, moga Allah ampunkan aku. Harapnya, siapa yang tetap percaya tentang faham Ahli Sunnah Waljamaah tak sesekali terlintas kat fikiran bahawa fahaman Syiah itu yg kita kne ikut. Semoga ketetapan iman dan ketenangan diberikan. Janganlah sibuk nak bergaduh tentang perkara sia-sia yang sememangnya kita dah tau apa kebenaranya. Wallahualam.

Post ni jugak nak menyeru sume supaya amik tahu pasal saudara kita dekat Syria yang ade kene mengena dengan Syiah ni. Siapa lagi nak tolong dorang kalau tak kita sesama Islam. Kalau susah nak sumbangkan benda-benda yang besar, sekecil-kecil hal pun boleh membantu sedikit sebanyak-doa, boikot, share pasal hal Syria ni untuk orang lain tau kebenaran yang sepatutnye. Mungkan ini sume tak layak sebagai Jihad Fisabilillah, tapi apa salahnya kita membantu. Kalau kau tak pentingkan semangat keagamaan, aku rasa semangat kemanusiaan pun cukup lah. In shaa Allah :)

P/s: Like lah page2 kat fb contohnya https://www.facebook.com/syria.care?fref=ts untuk tau ape-ape update atau bantuan yang boleh kita bagi.



July 02, 2013

Gua dan UTM badges..
these are interesting stuffs that came from this nerdy university
oleh itu,

Gua sudah menjadi blogger bertauliah UTM
dan juga
menjadi antara 10 orang pertama yang mendaftar 

Long live me. kahkah

sile tgk left bar kalau nak cekit cekiddaut.


June 23, 2013

suka bau badan mama dgn abah esp masa dorang balik kerja
suka bau perfume adik
suke bau perfume meia masa asasi
suka bau kereta budak lelaki
suka bau roti tgh bakar
suka bau bantal busuk aku
suka bau sweater iskandar, dgn iskandar sekali. nasib tak boleh cium
suka bau badan sendiri
         yang paling penting
suka bau duit


June 01, 2013

2 minutes date

June 01, 2013

If you're a fan of How I met Your Mother, I'm pretty sure you're familiar with this scene. It is a scene of how Ted set up a 2 minutes date because of Stella only having 2 minutes lunch break. And Ted got to keep Stella until Stella left him at the alter. 

Ted obviously a hopeless romantic guy. But what I've learnt here is, he actually had a pretty good idea to get a good impression from Stella. I must say, if there's a guy who is willing to do that, I'm flattered. Like 78% serious. But my point is, in 2 minutes, Ted ans Stella  had a chance to get to know each other and creating memories. Why is it hard for me to meet someone I care at least 2 minutes? It has been a week since I met him, and I am crazy now people! I know a week. But whatever..He'll be gone in 4 days, and I have no slight chance to meet him. It is driving me crazy! Laugh out loud all you want, saying that I'm a crazy-overly-attached bitch but here's the thing.. He is the only one who I 'really' have other than my parents for the past few weeks. He's the only one because everyone around me is keep hurting me. Geez. 

All I need is 2 minutes, seeing his face and I'll be okay. That's all I want to do right now.

May 27, 2013

I need a hug hug hug. Oh a hug hug hug. oh huggggg~


May 27, 2013

I was having conversation with Kak Fasiha about what I'm gonna be after grad. To be honest- all I could think of is continuing my study a.k.a taking master. I would say, that is so TIMID version of me. before this, I was so adventurous, inspirational and so not afraid of trying. But now, I'm so lazy, cheap, broken and bent.  Where's the concept of wild, young and free?! I don't know!! Let me show you the version of me after I finished my foundation. I have so many opts- I wanna take degree in English (Literature) or I wanna take architectures or Art and Designs, or major in Masscom as a journalist *i'd like to be a food journalist* You know, one thing I've found from my lecturers in Foundation, they encouraged us to be more than a teacher.  You can see there are a lot from my batch choose English, Procom,mascom or even culinary for their first degree. The thing is, my lecturers in my foundation years were so inspiring and did not give us the pressure to be a teacher ONLY. Let me review the version of me now. All I want to do after my graduation, I just want to further my studies and at some point in my life I just wanna settle down and having kids. That's all. No more opts that I could find in my head. 

Actually, I have plans of yeah to be more me rather than following the 'educational' flow. But I think my life is all about being what society and family want  me to be. Oh gosh these things reminded me how fooled I am in recent incidents of my life. I don't wana talk about it. I've found it is so relevant to keep everything with my self and share this to no one, since I have no one interested to me nowadays. I hope it's all about timing. Maybe at this moment I just so messed up with my life and I hope one day Allah show me what I should be. Bak kata Yana- Yang terbaik pun tak semestinya mmg baik untuk aku. Indeed Allah knows the best.


May 21, 2013

a delightful evening. and yeah I got the sweater. 

Response to my questions.

May 18, 2013

"A sister asked Sheikh Yawar Baig a question regarding marriage; This was his response.


I want to get married to this man in my university who says that the best thing for him is to get married to get out of the temptations that surround him. He is still a student on scholarship and has no income or career. What is your advice?


جزاك اللهُ خيراً for your question. My advice is that you learn to eat grass. If you marry someone without an income, that is what you will need to be able to do at some point. Sorry to be rude – but as George Bernard Shaw said, ‘You must never be afraid to offend people because that is the only time that they listen.’ So I hope you are offended and can wake up from the hormone induced dream that you are in before it turns into a nightmare.

For a man to be suitable to marry, you must look for three things:

1. How is his Deen?
-Is he on the Shari’ah and Sunnah?
-Is he particular to avoid the doubtful things? (Does he eat doubtful chickens and drink Coke/Pepsi?)
-How are his manners? Not to you – but to all around him.
-Is he argumentative and combative about everything? Is he an auto-refuter?
-Is he kind and considerate to those weaker than him? Does he thank the waiter and the doorman?
-Is there a smile on his face or a frown? Does he have a sense of humor?
-Is he smart? Does he read more than comics? Can you have a serious, sensible conversation with him?
-Is his brain bigger than his biceps? (If he proposed to you without an income, I seriously doubt that it is)
-Is his language that of inclusion or exclusion – looking down on others who he considers as not so good Muslims as himself?
-Does he praise more or criticize more? Is he forgiving of others or eager to expose their faults?
-How particular is he about avoiding Haraam (Sorry to point out, but if he was having conversations with you without a Mahram, he and you were already indulging in Haraam)?

2. Can he support himself?
-How? Not dreams and smooth talk – but actual nuts and bolts. Here and now?
-Has he completed his education? How much longer will that take?
-Will his family support this marriage of yours until he can get a job (lousy situation to be in but better than eating grass)?
-What is his profession and how soon can he get a job?
-What kind of income does he have today and what can he look forward to?
-Is that enough to support you and your family?
-Believe me, today you may think that you can live on love and sunshine but I doubt that you can pay your rent with sunshine. Neither will sunshine buy you bread – that’s why I said that you may like to start eating grass because that is free and maybe you can even hire your services out as a walking lawn mower and make some money as well.

3. How compatible are you with each other and each other’s families?
-That means that you wake up and ask some basic questions like what do they eat?
-Where do they come from? Country and culture. Not race. I have seen marriages between Africans and African Americans break up in six months because Africans and African Americans are two different cultures, even though racially they are the same. Race doesn’t matter. Culture does. Difference is not bad. Incompatibility is. And many a time, difference translates as incompatibility.
-What is the relationship and expectation from the parents in law? 
-How do they live? Are they from a multi-marriage culture where your husband-to-be who can’t resist temptations today will once again not be able to resist temptations and will take unto himself another wife; and perhaps another. So how will you take to that?
-What kind of financial background do your husband’s family come from? Is there too much of a disparity?
My mother used to say, ‘To patch a tear in a muslin garment you don’t use gold brocade.’

Finally of all the dumb reasons to marry is to ‘stay out of temptation’. I know I have just put myself in line for the Fatawa of all my ‘strong’ brothers who will strike me down with this and that Hadith. But before I go down, let me say to you, my dear sister, in plain words; What he is saying in effect is that he needs a legal means for sex.

So what happens when the hormones are not boiling any longer? He’s not marrying you for yourself. He is marrying you for himself. That is the worst reason to get married to anyone for. Believe me and wake up. Or keep sleeping and find out for yourself when the dream turns into a nightmare. After all nightmares are also dreams.

I will tell you what happens in 9 cases out of 10. When things get too tough and you demand time, attention and money, he will walk away and you will be left holding the baby – quite literally. Then what are you going to do?

So wake up and answer this questionnaire and if he comes out on top, by all means marry him. If not suggest to him to take cold showers – maybe he should put his bed in the shower – and you focus on your education. You came to the university to study. Not to look at boys. He came to study. Not to look at girls. Concentrate on your education. Get distinction. And go home. And then see what Allah has in store for you in terms of your Rizq – a husband you can look up to and be proud of. A husband who will be proud of you and treat you like a princess – not only during your honeymoon but for all your life.

I wish you all the best in this world and the next."-via Aisyah Anasmosa.

So, what do you think? I feel like I've been slapped in my face like 100 times.I've been in a relationship for quite some time and I'm lying if I said I've never discussed about marriage and stuff. Thank god he's more rational than I am, whenever marriage was mentioned he will say,"duit takde. Nak kawen macam mane? nak bagi awak makan ape? "

I have a friend here in UTM, he is in his third year now, and he's going to marry a student from UIA in October. I have been wondering how he will be managed things such as the pressure to be far from his wife, money of course, and how about the things that are unplanned happens?And for me, his future wife is an overly-attached type, so how he is going to manage all this pressure?But I've never expected anything worst and bad from him. He is a nice guy, if his intentions are good, May Allah bless him and his wife because to be married at a young age isnt an easy task. 

Well, this is such an eye-opener for me. Not only what to think about when I decided to get married but it makes me realized, am I a good muslimah and slave to Allah S.W.T? I know, to be in a relationship itself is a sign that I'm not abiding the rules that Allah S.W.T has created for us. Because to be in a relationship itself I've put myself in Zina. Remember? "La Takrabuzzina"- Dont you ever attached yourself in zina? I dont want to explain more, because I think we're matured enough to think what is Haram and Halal. Hurm there are so many things to think about. May Allah S.W.T forgive all my sins. Amin. 


April 29, 2013

It has been rough weeks for me. assignments, personal matters, non personal matters..let me put this in a simpler way.. I'm not okay.

It is just I cant decide to share my feels with whom, since I realized each and everyone of us having our own problems. Maybe it is not that serious till I cry to sleep but it is enough to put me in misery. Dont simply assume I have love problem because I'm really happy with my life and my yeobo is really taking care of me nicely. 

I'm having problem with distance. Distance makes me anxious and more anxious. I know that if I try to hard to make thing more narrower it is just dont feel right. What I do is hoping for what has been so far from me, will come back and make things going back to normal. No effort and I am asking for miracles. Pemalas.

What I need is a sincere pray from everyone who read this- so that I'm okay and getting better. 
Thank you in advance. 

March 21, 2013

when I'm not good
I consume not good food.
I am what I eat.

Blog like a Good Girl :)

March 16, 2013

" A woman who utters such depressing and disgusting sounds has no right to be anywhere- no right to live. Remember that you're a human being with a soul and the divine gift of articulate speech; that your native language of Shakespeare and Milton and the Bible; and don't sit there crooning like a bilious pigeon " - George Bernard Shaw, Pygmalion, 1912

Mood ruiner

March 04, 2013

there's a fine line between a single girl and a not-single girl.
Let's see.


February 24, 2013

I worry about everything. 
Bak kata pepatah melayu, "Yang dikejar tak dapat ,yang dikendong tercicir". 
At first I think I could handle this but day by day, I cant. 
Ya ALLAH, please give me you mercy and help me.

*ambil gitar, smbil menangis menyanyikan lagu Ombak Rindu


February 18, 2013

thanks chibird for making it nice and sweet. 
Let's work hard people.


February 12, 2013

You miss him
And he wore your favourite shirt..
And you know he misses you too.
Wait till I come back darling...


February 06, 2013

I put the initial of the brand, because I'm afraid the fans will hate me :(
If u're a Malaysian you know this.

Never tried this before, I know they have smaller version of burger but 
how can a human eat thiss... ?? :O

tak sakit perut ke ? : /


January 30, 2013

Tak boleh percaya jinx ni. Syirik. 
tapi tahukah anda, apabila saya mengaku, saya di jinx?
Makhluk yang dengar pengakuan tu, akan menghilang.
tapi kalau tak mengaku, makhluk tu will never know. ye dak? 
eeeeee.. tahlah

Singapore and weekend

January 28, 2013

Assalamualaikum :)
oke I had one of the best weekends in my life. I went to Singapore with my darlings - 
Meia, Nasriah and Yuppie.
At first, it turned out the trip to Singapore was cancelled, however, after Meia's mom give the green light, suddenly the trip was hell yeah ON ! Thanks to Cik Som :)

So basically we went to several places in Singapore:
1. Merlion Park
2. Esplanade
3. Bugis Street
4. Arab Street
5. Kampung Glam
6. China Town
7. Orchard Road
8. Little India

Okay, let the pictures tell you the stories :) the credit goes to Meia and me.

A park somewhere around Six Degrees Road

The Merlion Statue in Merlion Park


The view from the Merlion Park

One of the pub walls near China Town

The art at the Orchard Road

Me and my dream catcher tree :)

A robot from The Toy Museum at Kampung Glam

There are loads of pictures to explain the excitement when we were there. Singapore was really awesome and beautiful. I wish the currency was not too expensive. However, for those who loves to travel, money isnt the big deal. I brought only $40 - RM 100 and it is enough for the fare, and foods-not included shopping.  No worries in losing your way while you are in Singapore, because there have many directories, maps and you can ask the locals there. The transportation is efficient and comfortable to ride on. And I must say, we had a hard time to find places to eat because of the shubhah, *cough-McDonalds there got bacon-cough*. So, for the Muslim you can find Halal food easily at Arab St. Thanks to Meia, Yuppie and Nas for the awesome, random weekend. We should go to other places. Pinky promise :)

back to basic

January 19, 2013

this isn't fun anymore
sad with the entire things that had happened in my life.
nothing to be proud of... :(
nothing can i hold on to but Allah S.W.T

O, Allah, I knew I'm only looking for you when I was down.. help me Allah. Help me out from my own prison - duniawi, desires, lusts, and lagha. Dun let me go ashtray.Give me some peace and lend me some strength to fight. Help me to 'clean' the black dots that I'm pretty sure had blackens my hearts. Amin.

my emotion wrote this

January 17, 2013

in one fine night, once upon a time, I was reading tweets in my TL. Then suddenly I saw one oppar tweeted this, oh let me paraphrase it. Something like, my course-mates are head over heels to get married and we are like so perasan. 
That was so offensive.
okay, firstly, yes. My course-mates have been talking about marriage since yeah Dena Bahrin's proposal event and she got married, and other young girls at our age, got married and we are like.." I WANT TO GET MARRIED!!! "
and everyday, there will be one or two persons usrah-ing about marriage. yeah whatever. but that's how I live.

However, I feel offended with this oppar's tweet because, ppl who read that will labeled me same as my other course-mate. I'm not saying, I dont want to get married, I dont want to settle down, or I've never talked about marriage. I DO. But, in this context somehow, this oppar was 'judging' us. 

And to my fellow friends too. I think we should limit how we felt about young marriage. It is not wrong to talk about it, but somehow when you're reaching at one level, me or other girls will 'get bored' or 'annoyed' with those tweets or status or statements or comments. I mean, we live not only for marriage. Let us think about how we should repay our parents, or repair our society, or upgrade ourselves. There are LOADS of thing that we could think of other than marriage. Dont make any changes in your life or the reason why you're doing something because of you want to get married. Let us repair our niat. You cannot be like Dena Bahrin or Fara Lee or anyone else who got married in young age. That are their lives, their parts. We will get ours when the time is right and maybe after we have done what we should. 

To be honest, I feel ashamed with this oppar's tweet because he seemed taking us lightly and make us look cheap. And to this oppar, I think if you want to make jokes, you should think twice. 

I'm sorry to those who felt angry after you read this post, but I just cant take it no more. I dont think double-meaning post will be effective anymore. Please dont hate me T_T

What are you talking about?

January 13, 2013

I guess the words "I'm not perfect for you" is just an excuse.
Perfect is a combination
And combination is "us"

I better go to sleep

January 12, 2013

I was thinking if you can spend some time with me tomorrow? We haven't seen for each other for like a month and to be honest I kinda miss you. I just wanna have my breakfast with you. I'm usually not taking breakfast, but for once it doesn't kill. And tomorrow I wanna take some pictures with you, because I forgot how you look like. And I wanna keep that picture. And tomorrow I wanna ask you to not give up on me, cause I like you more than I like Choi Minho. And if you want me to wait for you,
 I WILL dear. 


January 10, 2013

I'm good.
Follow my Instagram account people



That is Ouch!

January 06, 2013

"Honestly, I'm having a trouble remembering what she looks like. The more I try to picture it, the more 
I cant.
I remember how she makes me feel, but I just completely can't remember her," said Ted Mosby.

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